The Cat's Meow

In all seriousness, this post is going to be about something that has bothered me in the past.

Kids and cats.

I have had cats for almost all of my life - ever since I was small I loved their furry little faces - and over the years we have had a number of different kinds. I think that I have such a good repertoire with them since I was introduced to them in a responsible way. My parents din't thrust a frightened kitten into my lap.

We built a relationship and they (my parents) helped me understand what a feline personality was, and was not. And while many people will just say that it comes down to the personality of the individual cat, in my experience it comes down more to the personality of the person taking care of said cat.

While this is not always possible, very young children and kittens are basically both just babies, and you should understand that both will make mistakes. If you get a kitten, and please understand - you are taking on a big responsibility - you need to train both your kids and kitten.

For those of you that think kitty training is too much work, there is always an older cat. And an older cat (one that has gotten more relaxed - usually over two years of age) - you could/should look for it at your local shelter. Many people feel that they are second hand cats. But the truth is that we treat these beautiful animals like a piece of furniture, when the color doesn't work anymore they recycle them.* I also feel that the ones in the shelter give you a more clear idea of how they will be in your home. When you get a kitten you will generally be placed on a list, and when the next litter is there, you will get a call that you can pick your cat up in eight weeks. Okay, that is not the exact flow, you may get to pick "the cat" out, by photo or otherwise, but in the end you are just getting the luck of the draw. Have your children accompany you, look at how the cats react. If they come up to you and ask for pets or rub against the cage unafraid you have more of an idea of what their personality is like, than by looking at photos.

No matter what type of cat you get you will need to monitor your kids with the cat. This is often a mistake people make when thy have not had prior experience with cats. Correct them immediately if they do something that has a potential to disrupt the cat and make it aggressive. Things like pulling the cat's tail or ears, or bothering the cat when it shows that it wants to be left alone can be mostly avoided if you supervise the "play dates." If the cat is eating make it clear that they do not bother the cat.

From the cat's perspective we are all big and scary. Kids are also loud. Even the smallest child is big and scary to a tiny kitten, combine that to one that has been brought into an unknown territory (your home) with all of the different sights and sounds, the smells, and the scary corners that have yet to be explored and you have a kitty that is on edge. Many will tell you to get a kitten because it is still mold able, that is true. But older cats are also able to adapt, it may take longer, but it is not a trait that is inherently exclusive to kittens. No matter if they are young or old, if you observe them you should be able to see what bad thing triggered the hissing or aggressive behavior. Either remove that trigger, instead replace it with new fun things that distract the cat's attention.

If your cat an child are not so sure about each other it is your job to help them open a dialog. One thing that you might have success with is having your children feed the pet. This will help establish their position among the good things in the cat's life. When I was young I loved helping take care of the cats, feeding them was my self-elected job, so they knew that I cared for them.

Of course the right technique is needed when they play together as well. Soon your child the proper way to play rather than letting them hit the cat with toys or picking them up when they don't want to be handled.

Proper play and handling need to be learned. Cat's have a need to held so that they feel secure and are in an upright position. Hanging them upside down or rough treatment will end with your child crying. I strongly suggest that you watch some videos of both proper play as well as the best method to handle a cat if you are not certain how this is done. Cat's love to be rewarded, and when they do something positive, or handle a situation well strengthen their association with this by giving the kitten a treat.

Even the small kids should be able to understand how they appear to a cat. If you help them understand that they are big and scary relative to the cat they will have a better foundation to build on. This is not fool proof. When I was a small child I still got scratched by our cat. Every time I complained about it to my mother she would ask me "what did you do?" She helped me understand that while it might not have been "bad" it wasn't good either and the cat interpreted it differently. I am not certain why but it helped make me feel empowered once I got this new piece of knowledge. Somehow it was like I got to be the big adult, and with that comes the responsibility to be careful.

*My hair dresser is one of those people that loves to be in trend. That also means that she went through three different dogs in a little over two years. When a new trend dog was hot she would dump the pour pup and get a new one. She had a Chihuahua, a West-highland Terrier and a Pug. All of them landed in the pound.